Mr. President Swats a Nibble Out of Alcatraz with Gator Run-in

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Sources say the former president was spotted on a boat near the infamous island prison, where he allegedly made a move to feed something to a massive crocodile. Witnesses claim that Trump maybe got a little too close with the animal, causing some whispering. The {entireaffair was captured on video, and clips have rapidly gone viral online.

Urgent Update: The Donald and the Danger Lizards!

A shocking development is unfolding at Mar-a-Lago as we speak/right now/at this very moment. Sources report that former President The Donald has faced off against a pack of highly venomous lizards, said to be mutated by radiation/the result of government experiments/escaped from Area 51.

A nervous pool boy claim to have seen the former leader fighting with the creatures, wielding a vibrating toothbrush. The situation is still developing/unfolding/sketchy, and we await official statements from a bewildered Secret Service agent.

Stay tuned for more updates on this completely unexpected event!

Big T's Wild Tour of Alcatraz

Get ready for a wild ride, folks! Trump is hitting the rock/island/prison like never before in a tour/experience/adventure they're calling the Gator Gauntlet. Sources say he's planning on showing off/lecturing about/taking control of the island, packing meme-worthy moment his best suits. He's even rumored to be put in a gold-plated bidet during his visit. This ain't your grandma's tour of Alcatraz, folks. Brace yourselves!

Gator Jail? Definitely, Declares the Donald

Folks, lemme tell ya somethin'. This situation down in Florida is gettin' out of hand. They got these alligators runnin' amok. And what do they do? Nothing! They just let 'em wander around. But not me, I wouldn't stand for that. We gotta crack down of these reptiles. That's why I say we gotta build a gator jail - Alcatraz for crocodiles, folks! That's what makes America great, takin' care of problems.

Trump's Wild Ride: Presidential GATOR Safari!

This ain't your typical fundraiser, folks. The Boss Man himself is hitting the glades on a wild maniacal rampage. That's right, we're talking about Trumpbattling beastly reptiles. Sources say he's packing his a brand new baseball cap and ready to unleash some swamp-justice. Will he run screaming back to the White House? Only time will tell!

You Won't Believe This! Trump Goes Cage Diving With Gators

Folks, you are seriously gonna believe this! The Donald himself, previous Prez Trump, has decided to embark on a wild expedition. He's swapping his golf clubs for some serious courage and is going into a tank full of hungry alligators! Sources say that this whole thing was his idea.

What could ever go wrong?? Only time will reveal.

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